We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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