I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
