ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
