Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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