Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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