I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
