i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
