super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
