Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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