this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
