He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
