We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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