You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you traded sex for a burrito?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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