when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
where am i from again
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
