that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
