I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
