i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
