your thong is hanging out like whoa
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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