Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
