i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
