Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
