i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
