i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
