so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
