Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
