If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
home. puking in laundry basket.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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