don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
