I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
