FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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