i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
