I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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