I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
