I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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