i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
there is glitter all over my balls
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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