is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
