At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
