Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think i have two assholes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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