he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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