she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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