Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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