yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
