I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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