Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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