You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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