I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
