Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
