one might say we're banned from that church
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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