she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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