I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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