i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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