honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
