doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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