If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize