You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
