Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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