Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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