weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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