Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
