how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
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