More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
